When A wants to do something, she just does it. She subscribes to the philosophy "It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission." Well, this is at direct odds with my personality and I'd be lying if I said this was my favorite trait. I was always black and white. Only as an adult have I learned the "gray" areas. My oldest is just like me in that regard. He may beg and plead, but he will do what I ask. I appreciate that.
That said, why is it when my little one is being a stinker, it's hard to get upset about it? Is it because she is the "baby" of the family? Is it because when using a firm tone with her she falls apart? Is it because she's had some obstacles in her life and it's her willful spirit that has helped her succeed all her life?
In a word "yes". Probably to all three. Mind you, I will not raise a narcissist. I wouldn't be doing my job as a parent or as a Christian if I did. But, coming up with ways to negotiate, bribe, cajole, encourage, and motivate her can be challenging.
Her philosophy of "do what you want, ask forgiveness later" has resulted in her being banned from many things. The thought that a "ban" had to be put in place seems awfully harsh, but gentle loving parental instruction often proves useless. Harsher measures are often required.
A's ban list:
1. Mommy's laptop
2. Mommy's phone
3. Eating in the office/while on computer
4. Eating in the family room
5. Painting anywhere in the house
The later three are self-explanatory. Suffice it to say, her repeated violation caused property damage and therefore the ban was instituted.
The first two need to be explained.
A loves to "clean". Also, she is very liberal in her use of cleaning products. Once when mom and dad were taking care of the kids, A decided that she wanted to "clean" my laptop. Well you can guess what ensued. Laptop + full bottle of febreeze + A = One very shiny, wet, lavender scented computer.
Also, it is odd that this event happened during a 10 minute respite from adult supervision. My dad had rotator cuff surgery and was recovering upstairs. Mom went to check on him. When she came down, the computer was clean. Ironic-huh? (or was it by design?)
Interrogation proved that she knew better than to do that. Like I said "forgiveness not permission".
The phone thing was a result of repeated improper behavior that overtime and after repeated warnings continued to occur. These were things such as changing ringtones, setting timer/alarms, changing pictures and all other kinds of settings. Not bad in itself, but coupled with abuse, (especially in the car) a ban was issued forthwith.
The straw/camel's back incident occurred when arriving at a local "hot spot" eatery (Franke's cafeteria), I helped her out of the car and heard a solid clunk. She told me her drink fell out. But at that point she still had it, and then seconds later, that fell out too. I was puzzled. What was heavy enough to have made that noise? Certainly the regular trash that fell out of the car when we opened the doors could not have made that noise. However, when I looked under the car next to us, I found nothing.
In the meantime, a patron came out and got in that car and drove off.
We walked in to the restaurant and I needed to look at something on my phone. Uh oh. No phone.
I told her that if that phone was laying on the parking lot ground, no more phone privileges.
Hence, item #2 on the ban list.
All that said, it's so hard to get upset with this........
and this...............
and this..............
HELP!!!
What's a mom to do?
Much love and many laughs,
Andrea
No comments:
Post a Comment